Ray DeForest: Seeds of Change

Every spring when I was growing up, my dad and I would dig up a small piece of the backyard, mix in peat moss and manure and prepare the bed for our vegetable garden. We would go to the garden center and pick out beefsteak tomato plants, sweet bell pepper plants and some seeds to grow carrots and his favorite, scallions. I always looked forward to the entire process and the time we got to be together. I loved having that rich dirt under my fingernails and the look on dads face when we finished and surveyed our little piece of farm! We would spend the entire summer watering and tending the garden. When we harvested that first ripe tomato or pulled the first scallion, it was always a very special moment. My biggest thrill came from the seeds, not buying already grown plants! I would give dad my daily report about those tiny seeds…how many sprouted overnight, how high they had grown in the past day and how much I watered them. I watched in amazement as they went from tiny speck in a small envelope, to something big enough for all of us to feast on. In later years, as technology took over, we would buy “seed tape” with the seeds spaced perfectly between some type of ribbon that would disintegrate once you planted it. Somehow, I didn’t like that as much as that envelope full of tiny seeds that I would have to sprinkle in my dirt and hope to plant just right.

As I grew older and fled my “nest”, I took that love of growing plants with me. I was lucky enough to live in many places around the world over the years. Each place I went, I would visit gardens and parks and marvel at the plantings. I always have something growing in my abode. A fern in the corner, a palm in the window, or now, it’s my Aerogarden. What an amazing piece of technology! It grows lush herbs, vegetables and flowers with no soil! It’s completely automatic, and I was able to harvest enough basil over 3 months for a year of my “Pesto Perfecto”! Right now, it’s growing a garden full of cheerful flowers to brighten up the winter days.

It’s amazing what a little bit of nurturing can do. Look at “American Idol”. Raw talent, over several weeks, can be nurtured and polished into something very special! Like small seeds, given the right care, they prosper and grow. If only everyone could have that special someone to help and nurture them through life. I have been very lucky. I have had many LGBTQ mentors throughout my life that taught me, and nurtured me. People who saw something in me, and helped me realize my potential. I still have that in my partner and friends. It’s so important to give. When you do, you get back so much.

My friend, Mark, recently asked if there was a “Big Brother” program for gays in NYC. He wanted to give back something to his community and help LGBTQ kids in need. We talked about my associations over the years, and how I try to “give back”. There are so many ways to mentor and give in our LGBTQ community. It isn’t always about money. It is about helping those in need of direction and love.

There are places that are always looking for people to help. There is the “Hetrick-Martin Institute” that seeks to foster healthy youth development. They “create an environment for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) youth between the ages of 12 and 21 and their families.” There is the “Point Foundation”. They provide “financial support, mentoring, leadership training and hope to meritorious students who are marginalized due to sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.” Then there is the “Nehirim Society”. They have “retreats and other programs that transform lives, and inspire GLBT Jews to be agents for change in their home communities.” There are so many ways to give back and mentor. A quick search on the Internet will show you these and so many more in your own neighborhoods. When you help the youth of today, you will be helping the world tomorrow. I have always lived by the phrase… “We change the world one person at a time.” Try it, you‘ll like it!

We should all try to reach out and “grow” our community. So many need our knowledge, our help and us. Each day is a new one, and maybe today is the day to reach out. It’s 10am, my day is starting and my Aerogarden just clicked on. The lights are bright and those little seeds are growing to be beautiful flowers that brighten my day. Help brighten another’s day...

Hugs and Love

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